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What Is the Best Way to Negotiate With Your Former Spouse in a North Carolina High Conflict Divorce?

Going through a divorce is never easy, but things can become even more stressful when you are negotiating with a stubborn, combative former spouse. No matter what you do or say, the minefield of a high conflict divorce can make you feel like there is no hope of ever making progress. The negotiation process is a crucial part of every divorce, and it is important to approach this situation in the most strategic way possible.

Solid negotiation tactics help you get what you want, but they also help you avoid expensive and drawn-out trials. Creating a divorce agreement is obviously the ideal route, as you and your spouse can handle all the matters related to your divorce outside of court. But, as many former spouses in Charlotte have undoubtedly discovered, this is easier said than done. Negotiating is even more difficult when one or both spouses are incredibly stubborn, refusing to compromise or give up an inch in their demands.

Your first step should always be to enlist the help of the best divorce attorney you can possibly find in Mecklenburg County. Having a legal professional by your side during the negotiation process will make it less stressful, and you can approach this situation in a more efficient manner. Your divorce attorney can employ a range of different strategies to help you get exactly what you want from your divorce settlement agreement.

Do Not Get Too Emotionally Attached

Skilled negotiators are able to let go of their emotional attachments before they set foot in the negotiating room. Approach the situation with an open mind and try not to let your emotions dictate the flow of the negotiation. We understand that there are many aspects of a divorce that might be quite emotional. You may have strong feelings about your family home in Charlotte, or the custody of your children. While there is nothing wrong with caring about these aspects of your divorce, you cannot negotiate effectively until you approach the situation with a more calculating mindset.

Collect as Much Information as Possible

Before you even set foot in the negotiation room, you should do everything in your power to collect as much information as possible. Knowledge is power. The spouse who has a greater understanding of all the various points of data will have a massive advantage in the negotiation room. Before you even start making demands, you should be confident in your knowledge of what you are talking about. Certain financial information may make it completely pointless to pursue certain assets, for example. With all that said, it is probably not a good idea to hide information from your spouse. Transparency builds trust, and negotiations only ever succeed if both parties feel like they have reached a fair compromise.

Develop a Strategy Beforehand

There are numerous steps you should take before the negotiation begins. The main thing is to create a solid strategy, and your attorney can certainly help with this. Your strategy should take into account a number of factors, including:

  • Your Goals: Establish clear goals of what you want to achieve. Know what you want and know what you need. Prioritize the most important aspects of your divorce. For example, you might want to recognize that it is more important for you to keep hold of the family car rather than the jewelry collection.
  • Understand Your Spouse: Your negotiation will go more smoothly if you make an effort to understand your spouse’s motives and goals. Think about what they want more than anything and consider how they might try to achieve these goals. When you understand how your spouse thinks, you can negotiate more effectively.
  • Set Boundaries: Another important aspect of your strategy involves clear boundaries. This is known as a “bottom line” in the negotiating world. Speak with your attorney and let them know what you are willing to accept, and when you want to get up and walk away from the negotiating table. Setting these boundaries is important, as you will be less inclined to accept a bad deal.
Enlist the Help of a Qualified Attorney Today

While many high conflict divorces end up going to trial, it does not have to be this way. Divorces typically only go to court when the negotiation process fails, and you can stop this from happening by hiring an experienced, qualified divorce attorney in Mecklenburg County. If you have been searching Charlotte for a lawyer you can trust, look no further than Arnold & Smith, PLLC. We can help you walk away from the negotiating table with a confident sense of achievement.