Should You Be Discussing Screen Time When Creating a Parenting Plan in North Carolina?

Technology is playing an increasing role in the lives of children. Some parents believe that technology is something that can make their lives easier. An iPad or a phone can serve as a much-needed distraction when parents need some breathing room. These parents may believe that technology should be embraced as a central part of their children’s lives. Other parents have completely different viewpoints. They may believe that too much exposure to technology at a young age is unhealthy, and these parents might want to limit “screen time” to a considerable degree. Some parents may even believe that their children should not have their own phones until they reach a relatively old age. If you have strong opinions about this subject, you might want to discuss it during child custody negotiations in North Carolina.

Parents often have very strong views about screen time, and there is no guarantee that both parents will agree on this subject after a divorce or breakup. Perhaps you believe that your child should have limited screen time until they are older. Maybe you have a more relaxed approach to screen time. You might lie somewhere in the middle, believing that screen time is acceptable but with limits.

Because you and your ex may disagree on this subject, it makes sense to at least bring it up during alternative dispute resolution (ADR). For example, you might have chosen to resolve your divorce or custody proceeding through mediation, arbitration, or collaborative law. During these processes, you and your ex will have plenty of time to discuss even the smallest parenting decisions.

Once you bring up the subject, you will quickly discover whether you and your ex are on the same page. If not, you and your ex might need to compromise on a solution that works for all parties. For example, you might feel that your child should not have any screen time until they reach age 8. Your ex might feel that screen time is perfectly acceptable without limits. Unless you want this issue to go before a judge, you and your ex might need to find a “middle ground” between these viewpoints.

In this situation, you might agree to let your ex give the child an iPad or phone, but only for one hour per day. Note that once your child becomes acclimatized to this routine, they may react badly when it changes. Because of this, you might also want to give your child screen time when they’re staying at your house, even if it goes against your parenting philosophy.

Alternatively, you might compromise and offer to bring in iPads and similar devices at age 7 instead of 8. With this approach, you will still get the “no-screen-time” policy you wanted, and your ex will get their way sooner rather than later. There are endless ways to resolve these kinds of disputes through ADR.

If parents fail to discuss screen time during mediation or collaborative law, they may encounter problems down the road. Parents might argue about this subject after the divorce becomes final, forcing everyone to go back to court and resolve the issue. These “modifications” of legal custody can be costly and time-consuming.

If parents discuss screen time during ADR but fail to resolve the dispute, they may be forced to abandon mediation and have a family court judge handle it. During litigation, a family court judge might give one parent sole legal custody over technology-related decisions in the future. Alternatively, they might give one parent legal custody over all parenting decisions to prevent further disputes.

Aside from screen time, many other parenting disputes can erupt over technology. One parent might want to limit their teen’s access to social media, for example. Another parent might be concerned about the number of hours their child spends playing video games.

Screen time is just one example of how new technology can affect child custody negotiations in North Carolina. Although you can leave these decisions to a family law judge, there is no way of knowing whether they will appreciate the new realities of parenting in the modern era. Such details are best left handled by knowledgeable parents who are familiar with the unique needs of their own children. If you would like to explore this topic in more detail, contact Arnold & Smith, PLLC, today.